THE LIFE OF MILAREPA
Part I Chapter 2 - The Tasting of Sorrow
Then Retchung asked, 'O Master, you are said to have suffered many misfortunes
after the death of your father. How did these evils come upon you?' Thus he
pleaded, and the Master continued:
When I was about seven years old, my father, Mila Banner of Wisdom, was wasting
away with a terrible disease. The doctors and magicians predicted that he would
never get well and so abandoned him.
His relatives and friends also knew that he would not live. He himself was certain
he would die. My uncle (Eternal Banner of Victory) and aunt (Glorious Contestant
of Khyung) and all our relatives, close and distant friends, and prominent neighbors
gathered together.
My father agreed to put his family and affirs in the care of a trustee. Then
he made a detailed will to insure that his son should later take possession
of his patrimony. And he read the will aloud for everyone to hear:
'To sum up clearly, since I shall not recover from my present illness and since
my son is still small, here are the arrangements by which I entrust him to all
his relatives and friends and especially to his uncle and aunt.
'In the mountains: my animals - yaks, horses, and sheep; in the valley, first
of all, the field, Fertile Triangle, and several other parcels of land of which
the poor are envious; under the house: cows, goats, and asses; in the loft:
implements, gold, silver, copper, and iron, turquoise, fabrics, silk, and a
granary. All of this makes up my wealth. In short, I have so much that I need
not envy anyone. Take
a part of these riches for the expenses which will follow my death, as to the
rest, I entrust everything to all of you assembled here until my son will be
old enough to take care of his property. I entrust him completely to the care
of his uncle and aunt.
'When this child is of an age to assume the family responsibilities let him
marry Zessay, to whom he has been betrothed since childhood. Then let them receive
all my goods without exception, and let my son take possession of his inheritance.
'During this time let the uncle, aunt, and near, relatives be aware of the joys
and sorrows of my two children and their mother. Do not lead them into misery.
After my death I shall be watching you from the realm of the dead.' Having thus
spoken, he died.
Then the funeral rites were performed. All the relatives came to an agreement
on the remainder of the possessions, and all, particularly the well-wishers,
said, ‘White Jewel, take charge of the property yourself. Do what you think
is good.' But the uncle and aunt said, 'All here are your friends, but we, your
near ones, will be better than friends. We shall do no wrong to the mother and
children. In accordance with the will, we shall take charge of the property.’
Without listening to the arguments of my mother's brother or of the family of
Zessay, my uncle took the men's goods and my aunt the women's. The rest
was divided in half. Then the aunt and uncle said: 'You, mother and children,
will take turns to serve us.' We no longer had any control over our possessions.
In summer, at the time for work in the fields, we were the servants of the uncle.
In winter, while working with wool, we were the servants of the aunt. Our food
was fit for dogs, our work for donkeys. For clothes, some strips of rags were
thrown over our shoulders and held together with a rope of grass. Working
without rest, our limbs became raw and sore. Due to bad food and poor clothing,
we became pale and emaciated. Our hair, which at one time had fallen in curls
of turquoise and gold, became sparse and gray, filled with nits and lice. Those
with feeling, who saw or heard of this, shed tears. They spoke bluntly behind
the backs of my uncle and aunt. As we were weighed down with misery, my
mother said to my aunt, ‘You are not the Glorious Contestant of Khyung,
but rather Dumo Takdren, Demoness Equal of Tigers.' This name, Demoness
Equal of Tigers, remained with my aunt.
In those days there was a well-known proverb: 'When the false master is master,
the true master is driven out of the house like a dog.' This proverb aptly desclibed
us, mother and children.
In the days when our father, Mila Banner of Wisdom, was there everyone, strong
or weak, watched to see if our faces were smiling or sad. Later, when the uncle
and aunt were as rich as kings, it was their faces, smiling or sad, which people
regarded. The men said about my mother, ‘How true is the proverb: “To
a rich husband, an able wife: from soft wool, good cloth." Now that the
husband is no longer there, it is as the proverb says. In times past, when her
husband was master and held up his head, White Jewel was courageous and wise,
as well as a good cook. Now, she is weak and timid.' Even those who had
served us mocked us. Thus they acted according to the proverb 'One man's misery
is another man's fun.'
The parents of Zessay gave me boots and new clothing, and said, 'Do not think
you are poor when riches pass away, since they are said to be ephemeral like
the dew in the meadow. In the past your ancestors did not become rich until
quite late. For you also the time of abundance will come again.' And speaking
in this way, they consoled us.
At last I reached my fifteenth year. There was at this time a field given to
my mother as a dowry by her parents, called by the not very beautiful name of
Trede Tenchung (Little Fur Carpet), which nevertheless produced an excellent
harvest. My mother's brother had cultivated it himself, and had done everything
he could to store away its yield.
Thus he had secretly collected a surplus of grain which he sold to buy a great
quantity of meat. With white barley, flour was made. With black barley, beer
was made for a feast, which he said was to reclaim the patrimony of White Jewel
and her children. Then my mother borrowed carpets and put them in my house called
Four Columns and Eight Beams.
She first invited my uncle and aunt, then close relatives, intimate friends,
and neighbors, and finally those who had knowledge of the will written by my
father, Mila Banner of Wisdom. To my uncle and aunt she presented a whole animal;
to the others, according to their rank, a quarter of an animal or a third of
a quarter. And she gave them beer in porcelain cups.
Then my mother stood up in the middle of the assemblage and said, 'When a son
is born he is given a name. When one is summoned to a beer feast this means
it time to talk. I have something to say to all of you gathered here, both uncle
and aunt, and the older ones who remember the last words of Mila Banner of Wisdom
at the moment of his death.' So she spoke. And my mother's brother read the
will. Then my mother continued, 'I do not need to explain to the older people
who are here the terms of this will. Until now, the uncle and aunt have taken
the trouble to direct us, both mother and children, in all things. Now my son
and Zessay are old enough to have their own home. This is why I beg you, restore
to us the goods which were entrusted to you, let my son marry Zessay and take
possession of his patrimony according to the will.'
Thus she spoke. The uncle and aunt, who almost never concurred, became united
in their greed. On our side, I was an only son. On their side, they had many
children.
And so my uncle and aunt retorted with one voice, ‘You have goods? Where
are they? In former times, when Mila Banner of Wisdom was in good health, we
loaned him a house, fields, gold, turquoise, dzos(1), horses,
yaks, and sheep. At the time of his death he returned these goods to their owner.
Do you possess a single piece of gold? A single ounce of butter? A single garment?
A single scrap of silk? We have not even seen the hoof of an animal. Who has
written this will? We have had the goodness to nourish you when you were orphaned
and destitute, so that you would not die of hunger. The proverb "As soon
as they have power, greedy men will even measure out water" is indeed true.’
Haying said this, the uncle snuffled, blew his nose, got up quickly, snapped
his fingers, shook the panel of his skirt, stamped his foot, and said, 'What
is more, even this house belongs to me. So, orphans, get out.' Saying this,
he slapped my mother and struck my sister and me with the sleeve of his chuba(2).
Then my mother cried out, 'Father Mila Banner of Wisdom, see the fate of your
family. You said you would watch us from the realm of the dead. Look at us now.'
Thus she spoke and, weeping, she fell and rolled on the ground. We children
could do nothing for her but weep. My mother's brother, fearing my uncle's many
sons, could not fight back. People of the village, who loved us, said they felt
sorry for us and there was not one of them who did not weep, the others present
sighed deeply.
The uncle and aunt said to me, 'You demand your goods, but you already have
a great deal. You prepared a feast for the neighbors and the people of the village
without regard for the beer and the meat you squandered. We do not have such
wealth. Even if we did, we would not give them to you, miserable orphans. So
if you are many, make war on us. If you are few, cast spells.' With these words,
they went away. Afterward, their friends also left.
My mother wept without ceasing while her brother, Zessay's parents, and our
friends remained to console her, saying, 'Do not cry; tears serve nothing. Ask
for something from each one who has come to the feast. Everybody here will give
you what you need, even the uncle and aunt may give you something good.'
My mother's brother then said, 'Do as they say and send your son to learn a
skill. Then you, mother and daughter, can live with me and work in my fields.
It is always good to occupy yourself with something useful. In any case, you
must do something so as not to be helpless in front of your uncle and aunt.'
My mother replied, ‘Dispossessed of all my goods, I have never begged for
anything to raise my children. I will not accept from the uncle and aunt a single
piece of my own property. Persecuted by the uncle and aunt we will run at the
sound of the drum, and run when the smoke rises(3). We shall
put them to shame. After that, I myself will till my field.'
In the region of Tsa, in the village of Mithogekha, there was a master magician
of the Nyingmapa Order, very much in demand in the villages, who knew the cult
of the Eight Nagas(4). My mother sent me to him to learn how
to read. At the same time, our relatives, offering us their own goods, gave
each of us a few things. The parents of Zessay brought me supplies of oil and
firewood and, to console me, they even sent Zessay to where I was learning to
read. My maternal uncle fed my mother and sister and thus they did not have
to beg or work somewhere else.
Because her brother would not allow her to become destitute, my mother did work
at home, one day spinning, the next day weaving. In this way she obtained some
money and what was necessary for us, her children. My sister worked for others
as much as she could to earn food and clothing. She ran at the sound of the
drum and ran when the smoke was rising.
Suffering from hunger, our clothing in tatters and spirits low, we were not
happy.
Thus the Master spoke. As he said these words all the listeners were deeply
moved and, with grief in their hearts, remained silent for a moment, shedding
tears. This is the second chapter, laying bare to the highest degree the reality
of sorrow.
1. Dzo. Cross-breed of the yak and the common cow.
2. Chuba. The sleeves of the Tibetan chuba, when they are folded
back, go from the elbow beyond the hands and can serve as a whip.
3. We will run at the sound of the drum, and run when the smoke
rises. This expression refers to the condition of destitutes and beggars looking
for alms, especially from homes where religious rites are taking place with
sounds of music, such as drums, and where smoke is rising from the kitchen climney.
On such occasions patrons distribute cooked food.
4. Cult of the Eight Nagas. The Eight Nagas as the eight Serpent-Gods.